Oh Disparity and Choices

I saw it coming but didn’t. I’ve been ‘home’ (amurica) for over a week and have a million things to write about without the ability to do so. I can’t compute the vast differences from such rawness to processed life. I think it comes down to choices. It’s the choices that have really set things apart. For a year, the choices were slim, you go to a restaurant and have 2 choices, you ask for one and they don’t have it so you have to get the other. Your options on things to do are quite limited. This is quite a contrast to life in America. The choices have been overwhelming. From 20 different types of cheeses at the grocery store to restaurants having menus and actually serving the things on them. This is all quite a contrast for me. But I am only speaking for myself right now, not the 4+ million living on $0.50 a day in Rwanda.

It’s their choices or lack thereof that I can’t get out of my head. Yeah my choices might have been slim but for millions around the world their choices are impossible. Rwanda has done a decent job of trying to provide affordable healthcare and good education for many but for those in crippling poverty, choices still have to be made. Choices like buying clean water for the family one day OR paying for a child who is sick to go to the hospital. Saving up for 2-3 weeks to buy a bed net to try to reduce the chances of a kid getting malaria or spending a few extra francs at the market to try give the kids some fruit or vegetable to diversify their strictly cornmeal diet. Trying to reduce hospital visits is hard and expensive. When kids grow the added expense of school fees and the loss of a family member to help fetch water or help on the family plot is hard. Life can unimaginably tough.

There is a lot of hope though. Many of these families work very hard and care deeply about their families and children and if given the chance, they can greatly improve the situation their family is in. Non-profits and governments are trying to invest more and more in micro-finance and micro-savings programs to help people not have to make such hard decisions. Nobody should have to decide between clean water or a sick child, school fees or a squandered future. The inequity is large in our world of 20 different cheeses but a lot can be done and the potential is huge.

This Should Clear it Up

The current cold spell:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/26/opinion/26cohen.html?_r=3&ref=opinion

and climate change as a whole:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10370955

and this

http://www.democracynow.org/2010/12/28/from_snowstorms_to_heat_waves_how

I know I have posted this before but just in case. This topic has come up some in conversation.

The Next Big Thing?

This could be really boring for 90% of people but if you’re interested in development or you donate money to any of the big hitter non-profits, micro-savings could be where a fair amount of money is headed. In the past 30 years, micro-finance has sky-rocketed bringing small loans and big opportunities for millions that were either unable to get credit or enslaved to loan sharks with unreachable interest rates. Everyone is getting involved in micro-finance, including governments. Some micro-finance is good, some bad and some ugly, depending on the country. Rwanda has its own micro-finance bank called Umarango Sako. Apparently they have given out a lot of loans and are pushing a majority of the population to join the formal economy and participate in business and get a bank account. According to other NGO folk, Rwanda is doing a decent job handling micro-finance but others aren’t handling it so well.

So to join the Umarango Sako micro-finance community you need 10,000 francs. That’s the equivalent of around $20. I know a Jackson seems like chump change but in a country where close to 60% of the population lives on less than $0.50 a day, 20 dollars seems impossible for most. This is where micro-savings comes in, to help the poorest of the poor. Similar to micro-finance, micro-savings joins a group of 12-15 very vulnerable folks, predominately women, and together, they create a savings club. Each week, each member brings what they can and buys shares of entire savings collected. The price of a share is determined by the group. This can range from 500-1500 francs ($1-$3). In joining the club they are also asked to donate a little bit to a social fund to help pay for an orphans school fees or widow’s funeral or a cause agreed upon by the group. After three months of growth the group chooses one person to give a loan to. They (the hard core people at Care and other non-profits who wrote the painstakingly detailed manual) have learned that most people in the group end up helping each other out to start a small business or pay for something much needed to improve their family life.

Most micro-savings projects are still in pilot stages but from what people are telling me, results have been overwhelmingly positive.

It now just depends on how it spreads. Each non-profit has to tailor similar micro-savings projects for each country. 3 years ago, Niger was the first test country for micro-savings and since then projects have been popping up all over Niger. Rwanda is in its second year where non-profits are wrapping up their pilot stages and starting to operate full scale.

I highly doubt that if you’re reading my blog that you believe that all poor people are lazy and they should help themselves but if you are, check it, people helping themselves. Besides education, people are lifting themselves out of poverty without any outside financial help.

Poor folks aren’t powerless or voiceless, many just aren’t given an opportunity to rise up. I don’t know about you but I love a good empowerment story and I think micro-savings is going to be full of them. So share the story of micro-savings and if you got a couple bucks, maybe give a few to a non-profit engaging in micro-savings.

the beauty of the world

check out this too

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/11/national_geographics_photograp.html

Why is it So Hard to Accept Free Gifts?

I’m not sure why, but especially as of lately, I have received many free gifts. Don’t worry, I’m not going to brag about winning any contests or manna falling from the sky. In the grand scheme of things, these gifts have been fairly small but when you live in Rwanda the smallest of gestures can make a huge impact.

After work one day, I was standing at a bus stop waiting for bus to arrive when a man pulled up in his car and offered a free ride into town to me and the lady standing next to me. During our drive, I was contemplating how much money I should offer him for the ride. Along the way, my thoughts were interrupted when the man driving slammed on the brakes and started to yell something out the window. I looked to my left to see the remains of a motorcycle accident and a group of men carrying bruised and bloody women toward the car. I applied pressure to one of the deep cuts on her head as she had several more over her body. We arrived at town and the driver of the car turned to me and said thanks, I’m going to run her to the hospital now. I hopped out and he sped away. I looked down at my hands, one had a trace of blood while the other held the 1000 francs I was intending to give the driver for his kind service.

That night a kind Lebanese man invited me and two friends over for dinner. He made a massive spread of authentic Lebanese food and everyone ate until tahinni was coming out of our ears. We went out for drinks after and as I graciously tried to repay a fraction of the wonderful meal in drinks but he refused. As I tried once more he said to me, “why can’t you Americans accept a free gift? I don’t want to be repaid, I had you over for friendship, don’t insult my kindness”

This stopped me in my tracks. Why can’t I accept a free gift? Why must I out give the giver? How can I proclaim the free gift of Christ when I can’t accept a free ride or meal?

I don’t think I am the only one with this problem. Rightly so, many of us strive for equality and fairness. That’s why I am here in Rwanda, to try to bring about equality and fairness.

In essence, fairness and equality are good things. It has brought about a lot of good but I don’t think that it’s the way of God. God is not fair, he is more than fair and I think in the American obsession for equality we are missing part of God’s character. God’s love is so great that those who don’t “deserve” it or put their hands to the plow receive God’s love too. This has been echoed throughout the Bible from the parable of the lost son to the parable of the laborers in the vineyard God. loves and favors those who don’t deserve it. I think this culminates with Paul’s question in Romans 2 “Why do you treat the kindness of God with contempt? Do you not know that the kindness of God leads to repentance?”

I think we should start asking some questions us believing in the true character of God. I think those 2 lines really sum it up. I really struggle receiving a free gift regardless of how small it is but character of God gives a million times the nicest gifts a person can give. Can we really handle a loving God that can and has blessed so many in our own judgments don’t deserve it. That our God can be that loving to give such great gifts to us or those around us because of his great love?

We have a beautifully loving God, can you believe it?

Neat Little Story

I think I have already made the comment that I have a really like my job teaching Members of Parliament. I found this story quite unique and beautiful so I have decided to share. I hope he doesn’t mind.

It was a normal class, we’re in the rainy season right now so everyone came in a little late and wet. We had spent some time going over speculation economics and moved to talk about the future of Rwanda and everyone’s outlooks. We took a left turn to religion and how big an impact Christianity has had on Rwanda both good and bad and what it might mean for the future. We talked about how churches are mobilizing to help those in poverty in their villages. We also talked about how many churches are taking the health and wealth approach where people in poverty and those who used to have jobs have come to believe that God will bless them with greater things than what their job can provide. So many have quit their jobs and give everything they have to the church and spend all their days in the church looking for something better. Apparently this topic has kind of tipped the scales here.

As we were heading down this path, I wanted to get their take on a question I have had for a little while. “In many parts of the world, there are many problems between Christians and Muslims coexisting, including my country, I have seen a really peaceful coexistence here and I was wondering what you think are some reasons as to why Rwanda has found peaceful coexistence?”

The first person to weigh in on this question was previously a professor of sociology and anthropology for 17 years at NUR (the best university in Rwanda). This didn’t dawn on me when I threw the question out there but as he neatly organized an articulate answer, his years of university came through.

He started talking about before genocide, that the previous President Habyrimana (killed in infamous plane crash) had very strong Catholic advisors. He also took millions of dollars from the church in influence. In essence the Catholic Church had more control of the state than the officials. This really came through post 1994. There were 2 very popular Catholic priests in Rwanda that had very big congregations and in 1994 they ended up deceiving thousands into what they thought was safety, only to be turned over for slaughter.

As things started to pan out post-genocide, it became clear that these 2 priests were going to be found guilty in the reconciliation trials, the Catholic Church stepped in. Having greater power than the state, the church order the trials to be canceled and these 2 priests released. So they were, and the state couldn’t do anything about it.

This apparently infuriated many as the new government vowed not to allow one part of religion to have such an important role in society.

So since then, the current government has gone to great links to try to balance out different religious groups in the country. This includes Muslims. To summarize, the dominance of one religion or group in the country is often associated with genocide times. From what I’ve seen, everyone is running as far as they can from going back to what happened in 1994, so religious acceptance is part of Rwanda’s new identity.

I find this very interesting and really beautiful. One might expect many Rwandans to be specifically mad at the Catholic Church. This isn’t entirely untrue as the Catholic Church in Rwanda has lost a large portion of its participants but for many they are looking above one religion, they are looking for balance. It could have been any religion to have that influence, that’s why many value and respect other perspectives. Did I mention that the man telling this story is still Catholic?

Part 2

I was originally going to tell you this story with the previous post but the other story got in the way and I think both deserve their own post.

After the abridged version of recent religious history in Rwanda by one Senator, another spoke up. He broke into his version of why Christians and Muslims get along so well in Rwanda. He started the way many people do, “well you know Rwanda is a small country and has a lot of people.” I have heard this line countless times. He then said, well unlike other groups, the Muslims are really spread out. They are not a huge portion of the population but you usually find a couple believers in every village you visit. With this, many Rwandese are always close to Muslims, they are neighbors, friends and coworkers. When you get to know people, I think everyone finds out that were all human and not that different. He then threw a curveball at the class.

So my family is Catholic, my wife and I attend mass fairly regularly but one of my boys has always been interested in Islam. As he was growing into a young man, I let him make many of his own choices. I knew he had many Muslim friends and I was ok with it. When he was 21 he came home one day and said dad, I have converted to Islam.

Everyone in the room shifted in their seats and some let out a little audible shock.

It took a little bit of time to accept but it was his decision and he is happy with Islam. How could I stop him from doing something he feels called to. He is a good son. He is finishing at NUR now and wants to work for a non-profit. I am proud of him regardless of how he prays. I just can’t imagine us all getting to heaven and God giving us a stamp of approval depending on what religion we believe in. It was us as humans who created religion. We are the ones who have created divisiveness, not God, and look what it has brought us. (Sidenote: Pause and think of the gravity of what he has just said. This is coming from a man who has lived through genocide, the greatest consequence of divisiveness. This man lost both his parents, a brother, his wife’s parents, and 2 nephews. The man sitting next to him lost his wife to genocide. His words are meaning more than just words here.)

He continued onward, I think God is going to say, what have you done my son? I gave you my beautiful earth, how did you live on it?

The room was clearly divided on his last comments, some when to questions, others went to applause.

Every night is special at Parliament for me.

Hit Me with Music, Brutalize Me with Music

If you know me personally, you might know that I love music and live shows. I hate to be the typical travelling nomad cruising around developing countries with my ipod but I’m addicted to music. I believe there can be a certain CD or song for every mood. That’s what I want to write about today. I think music can have a greater impact on your life than you realize. I believe the words, beats, tones can culminate in specific moods that can really shape your outlook of who you are. I don’t think this is just for me as a music person. Yeah it might hit me more so, but start paying attention to why you are putting on the radio and how it meshes with who you are and what mood you’re in. More morose musicians like old Coldplay, Damien Rice, Once Soundtrack, Death Cab, Ray Lamontagne’s Till the Sun Turns Black, Bob Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks can drop you from a so so day to ain’t so good. On the other hand Talking Heads, Phish, Cat Stevens, ALO, Bob Marley, Mumford & Sons, Dave Busted Stuff, Jack Johnson’s Curious George Soundtrack (I also think this was the last good thing he did), and Matisyahu Live at Stubb’s (the only good thing he did) can all boost your mood. Then you have music for the seasons. This has been a tad hard for me. It’s summer 24/7 in Rwanda so I haven’t been able to enjoy fall music like Fleet Foxes, Andrew Bird, Rogue Wave and Animal Collective. I’m about to jump into winter music with Sufjan Stevens, Band of Horses, Dave’s Some Devil and Neil Young but it will be abbreviated and unnatural for me. I don’t know if you ever think of these things, but over the last few years, I have tried to map out my music for moods, seasons and occasions and for me, it brings a closer equilibrium. To be in a not sure mood and find the right CD to play can really help you fit the groove. I don’t want to say just find your happy music and play it all the time. I think we should embrace whatever place we are at, I think that’s what music is for, to accompany us through where we’re at. Sometimes I just need to go with the hidden bit of sorrow I have and sulk a few hours in Damien Rice. Or I might be on a major upswing in summer months and throw on Busted Stuff and hit my musical nirvana. Speaking of Nirvana, I introduced the Senators and MP’s to Nirvana 2 weeks ago. Last week was Frank Sinatra, and I haven’t decided for this week.

I guess what I want to relay from my brain to yours is to find your musical nirvana, even if you’re a musical person, I bet you have it in you. When you find it, it might improve your quality of life.

junk

sardy, been somehow too busy to post.

i wanted to share stuff that others are doing though. first a decent article by i dont know who about wikilinks and i agree with this guys opinion. even if the truth in inconvenient, we shouldnt shun it, because its well the truth. wikilinks shouldnt have to do the governments job. so check it if you have time.

next is 2 of my favorite people singing a great song. 3rs i really like it. just a healthy reminder. we gotta remember to reduce, reuse and recycle!

Amen Jim Wallis

I really like Jim Wallis and this a really great article that I hope many people read

http://blog.sojo.net/2010/11/18/3-steps-toward-a-balanced-budget/

The Moto Mating Call

Cars are quite expensive in Rwanda, so most folks find themselves taking a motorcycle taxi to get around. There aren’t many rules or regulations in moto or boda boda world but there is a strict etiquette to completing a ride.

1) The initial approach- At almost all hours during the day, you can see motos whizzing by you and dodging in and out of traffic. Well this is true until the actual moment you want a moto, in which case, they seem to just disappear. Eventually you will final find an available suitor, a solo moto driver pretending to be going somewhere important and seemingly wanting no such mate. You show interest in 2 ways: a simple hand raise or deep hard hiss that would make everyone in America turn in horror. The second option seems to be more attractive as I have found more moto drivers willing to stop for a hard hiss than the hand raise.

2) The look up and down- Moto drivers usually whip their bike around and pull up right in front of you almost running over your feet to display their dominance and masculinity in hopes of a match. I usually take a step back to see what features said moto driver has asking myself questions like, “what are my chances of lice putting on this helmet?” or “on a scale of 1-10 how drunk could this person be” and “hmm this is the sporty bike which goes faster but is less comfortable, how far do I have to go and is it worth waiting for a slightly more comfortable ride?”

3) The interview process- If you are satisfied with the answers to the previous questions, you next move to the interview process. To be polite you have to run down all the common small talk Kinyarwanda you know followed by a broken Kinyarwandan explanation of where you have to go. Immediately after shaky Kinyarwanda, you deliver the strong question, “ni angahe?” or “how much?” Moto drivers almost always play coy and give you a ridiculous price that I might have paid if I just stepped off the plane but not a year in. To counteract this, you have to immediately show dramatic disapproval. This disapproval can be shown in a variety of ways: an exasperated ‘oya’ ‘no’, a strong disrespectful tapping of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, laughing hysterically in disbelief about the price or simply walking away in hopes the suitor will redeem himself with a lower price. For more effective results, it’s best to combine your signs of disapproval. I personally like to laugh hysterically and walk away. (sidenote: as I reread these steps, I realize how incredibly rude and overdramatic these steps might appear but they are all totally normal in a culture where the word subtlety is not in the dictionary)

4) Agreement- After the initial price is usually divided by 2, both moto and motoee seem to be in agreement, you hop on board, put on the moderately gross helmet and go to town, if you know what I mean.

(one happy moto rider finding his mate)

Implement

I’m really lucky right now to have the opportunity to teach at Parliament. My little class of 5 MPs and 3 Senators is quite a lively bunch. We have a lot of fun and also talk about a lot of serious issues. This past Thursday as we were saying our goodbyes for the weekend, the jokes started flying which unintentionally led us to one of our most serious interactions.

A couple of months ago, I read this really great article by the head of International Justice Mission.. The basic gist of the article is that over the past 60 years the human rights movement has been very successful in getting many great laws in the books in many countries. But the implementation of these laws is another story. Many countries have very corrupt officials, officials who don’t believe in enforcing laws and officials who just don’t have enough money to enforce laws.

The last reason certainly applies to Rwanda. As we were all walking out the door, I was joking with some members of Parliament about what their plans were for the weekend, which clubs they enjoyed attending (almost all the members are over 50 and want nothing more than going home to their wife or husband). As I was listing off names of night clubs, Cadillac, Le Must, Executive Car Wash, KBC, one of the members says ‘oh not KBC they have a big prostitute problem.’

This was relatively shocking to me. I mean everyone knows that KBC is infested with prostitutes but I just guessed these officials were a little out of touch. I was wrong. I slowed the conversation and asked, ‘so you do know?’ They all kind of laughed it off and thought my presumption that they would not know as naïve. Of course my next question was, well if you do know, why don’t you do something about?

Everyone’s answer was most telling. ‘you see Evan, we work really hard to make good laws but doing them is another story. We are a very small poor country with many problems and that’s just another one. You can’t expect us to stand around night clubs and enforce these laws. Prostitution is a big problem in all of Africa (very true) and we do need to do better but it takes time. Our police force is very weak and inexperienced.’

So for those of you interested in human rights, I think this is our task, coming up with creative ways to make sure these good laws that we have worked hard to put in place are enforced. I think this a fairly clear firsthand account that the article by IJM and FRC is correct. Lets hold up the laws we create.

GO!

This weekend marks the 20^th anniversary of the annual protest of the School of Americas. GO! Even if you don’t know much about it, there are going to be a ton of really nice folks that would love to chat with you. Its only 2 hours outside of Atlanta. So for folks in Atlanta you can make a day trip or stay for the weekend. For folks not in Atlanta, you can stay at my parent’s house for free. I’m sure they would love to host some folks. Just tell me so I can tell them you are coming. I’m not joking GO!

For almost 60 years over 60,000 Latin American soldiers have been trained in brutal counterinsurgency tactics ranging from intimidation to murder to disappearances and torture. These trainings have wrecked havoc all over Latin America. From coups of democratically elected governments to killings of thousands of innocent people, these training must stop. The main training facility is located in Fort Benning Georgia called the School of Americas. (now renamed WHISC Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation)

Every November there is a mass protest outside the gates of Fort Benning. I attended last year and would love to take part again this year but can’t quite make it. I met a lot beautiful souls standing in solidarity for all those who have died as consequence of the brutal American training tactics. Please if you have the means, attend. I highly recommend it. Here is the link to the group that organizes the protest: SCHOOL OF AMERICAS WATCH

Please lets tell America, war and intimidation is not what we represent. We must close this school and the others around America that start working toward peace.

One of my favorite quotes:

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. So when Jesus says "Love your enemies," he is setting forth a profound and ultimately inescapable admonition. ... The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.” MLK Jr.

Scars (again)

Looking back at my first blogs since moving to Rwanda, I’ve realized that not just myself but several other peoples first blogs about moving to Rwanda were about scars. The complete openness of past tragedy and open lament is really foreign to Americans. This is one of the first things many people notice when they first arrive here. I think this is due to stark contrast and how different it is from America. Past hardships and physical scars are typically concealed, covered or attempted to forget about but these hardships have to go somewhere. Rwanda is quite the opposite to America when it comes to the lament. Many people cannot hide their constant reminder of a past suffering which I think is ok for many people. I think Rwanda has properly grieved its hardships and is ready to move forward. It does not want to forget about previous injustices but is ready to move on in a better light due to the fact that it has openly dealt with what it has.

I think this is a great lesson the Rwandese can teach Americans, and in my opinion especially Christians. How many times have you walked into church with the weight of the world on your shoulders, only to see a lot of people with smiling faces and the image of not a care in the world. Times for sorrow and lament are reserved for specific Sundays accompanied with a particular message. I don’t think this façade is healthy. As a community and individually we need to learn how to properly grieve loss, heartache and injustice. I think we carry our scars on the inside. The feeling and emotions are stuck and not worked out. I don’t think this lets up live to our full potential. I don’t think we can fully heal if we don’t lament.

I know I’m not in the states but overseas the Wikileaks documents about the massive amount of torture and abuse committed in Iraq was a big deal. Even in my village people would ask me how I felt as an American about the documents. My only response is deep deep sorrow mixed with some anger. When I talked to my parents and asked them what the reaction was in America, they told me that there wasn’t much of one. I think this is due to our denial and inability to lament. The injustices committed in Iraq are wrong and I believe we need to properly mourn what happened and is currently happening in Afghanistan. We need to address what’s wrong and bring to light. We can’t banish these atrocities from our consciousness, trying our best to hide the gruesome images of what we have done. I think we will be better off if we were more real with ourselves and with the rest of the world and talked about what is happening.

Rwanda has created a space to lament. From the countless mass graves scattered across the tiny country to the open fresh mortar shell wounds almost displayed across the west side of Parliament, Rwanda is healing. Let’s deal with our own story, let’s dive deep into the muck, speak it out, resonate with community and move forward with the visible scars of life and the wholesomeness of properly lamenting.

(west wall of the rwandan parliament building)

(they're keeping the scars in the building to remember)

Dive In

I know I talk about the environment quite a bit which I think is just a product of just living closer to the rhythms of nature. The alternating dry and wet seasons coming and going have noticeably changed my life over the last year and made me a stronger advocate of nature and protecting the earth. I have recently moved to the capital Kigali which takes me a step away from nature but I had this last week off and decided to head down Nyungwe National Park to go camping. I believe it’s the highest elevation rainforest in the world or if not at least in Africa. I imagine many tourists just swing into Rwanda to go see the gorillas in Virunga Park and keep traveling so Nyungwe is a relatively untouched paradise. Over the course of the 4 days I was there, a total of 18 people visited the park. This really let me see the raw beauty of God’s creation unlike I had ever seen it before. I’m in love. We are so blessed to have such a beautiful earth to provide us with everything we need. From 13 species of monkeys, to hundreds of different types of birds and butterflies and the surprisingly human like chimpanzees, our world is beautiful. The simplicity of carrying everything you need on your back, setting up your own shelter has a strange hard love appeal that I can’t explain. To lay in bed hearing the orchestra of natural sounds from the nocturnal animals of the rainforest is one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard.

I promise I’m not writing this to gloat about a nice camping trip I went on. I want to urge you to go camping yourself. Go find a nature trail close to your home and just walk, breathe, take in the rawness of God’s creation. You might fall in love like I have. I’m not sure where you are reading this and if you have an intimate relationship with God’s creation or not but regardless of where you are, give nature a try. Find a little place to get away from the air conditioning or heater, where you might get a little dirt under your finger nails or a couple more deep breaths of some good old pure fresh air. I know I’m not in the states right now but I believe it the season fall. Fall is a great time to enjoy nature. There might be a cool crisp freshness in the air when as the sun rises. The coolness of the morning might disappear by the middle of the day which might have enough warm glow from the sun to stop you in your tracks and make you say “dang it’s a beautiful day, I am blessed.”

I also believe that if you and those around you start to have this strange closer connection to nature, your actions might change to maybe keep this environment, to keep God’s creation. Dive in, don’t just go from car to house, turn around and walk on a path that isn’t concrete. Let the beauty of nature take your heart and just see what happens.

Forgiveness part 2

I think I have already commented on how Rwanda has really established a culture of forgiveness. Many people contribute this to the relatively famous Gacaca Trials where instead of trying to traditionally deal with the countries prison problems after the genocide, the country made a bold move to release 40,000 people to local courts.

So as I was saying my goodbyes in Nyagatare, many students and teachers were coming up to me and apologizing. Even my best student apologized to me. I had a string of text messages from students apologizing and asking for forgiveness if they have done me wrong. I was finally able to pin someone down to tell me why everyone now is asking for just vague forgiveness. Apparently it goes back to tribal times that people believe that they should always leave someone on good terms and if you do not then you stand the chance of being “charmed”. This really brings up and interesting part of culture. I have heard murmurs of students or people from my community claiming to be witched or charmed but although I don’t think many people still believe in it, it affects their actions.

People seek forgiveness from all different people for nothing because just in case they could be cursed. I find this quite interesting that something has become culture that people don’t really believe in but do it anyway. But I guess that happens everywhere.

shameless

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/worldview/blogs/23276-living-in-a-culture-of-community

bloop blop beep writing here and there

Green Acres (Again)

“the chores, the stores, fresh air, Times Square”

I find myself once again bracing for another move from city to rural or rural to city. This time is a little bit different being that it’s all in Rwanda. My village Nyagatare is a little more rural than Boone and Kigali isn’t the same metropolitan city as Atlanta or DC but here I go again. The never ending transition of life is on the move once more.

I love different things about both parts of life. Rurally you get a lot closer look at the great outdoors and the communities might be closer. The pace is a little slower as it tends to be in sync with nature. The fast pace of urban life brings information and entertainment at your fingertips at all times. I thoroughly enjoy both but it never makes it easy to make the transition back and forth, especially with such little time to prepare. I finish in Nyagatare on Thursday and start work the following Monday in Kigali.

This time, I have found uprooting especially difficult. This is the smallest city I have ever lived in and when you really invest your time, it leaves its marks on you just as you wanted to leave some marks on it. I will forever be amazed at how many people I have met that knew so much about me before I even introduced myself. The generosity of people who have so little has been astounding. This community has made a little foreign village a million miles from what I’m used to be a comfortable home, regardless of how far I have had to come to adapting.

I have found this change just as hard as the others. I think I am a community man living in a time of community decline. I can work hard to build community strong wherever I go but with the ebbs and flows of life I now must go and seek another group to grow down deep and sprout the fruits of community once again. Like every good garden, the harvest will be good once again and life will be in its fullest communal swing but for now I must take the pain of transition in stride. Not ignoring or accepting it but taking the transition as a student of change, trying to learn from all parts.

SHOUTOUT: Bill Gates

Say what you want about how superior your Mac is to any other computer but Bill Gates is the real deal. For many millionaires, after making their first couple million it’s time to take it easy and enjoy fulfilling the American dream. Bill and his wife Melina (actually I heard the foundation is mostly her idea) have really hit the ground running, working on a variety of issues to help the developing world. I can’t vouch and say that his foundation is absolutely perfect and spends all of their money in the best ways but I can tell you that they are doing a lot. I spent a little bit of time talking to my friend Jacque about how he enjoys working for the Gates Foundation and besides the normal hardships of working in a developing country he has nothing but good things to say about the Foundation and feels confident in what they are doing.
My kids love Bill Gates. I have no problem vouching for Bill Gates either. Don’t worry I’m not trying to gloss over the aggressive monopoly he was trying to pull several years back but I have really good feelings toward hi m now a days. All my kids say ‘ah I want to be like Bill Gates, he is so rich and not only is he so ridiculously rich he actually helping people out too. I want to be like him.’ Then I tell them well best of luck, you’re going to have to study a little bit harder if you want to be like him.
I also don’t want to leave out this fact either. As a testament to how decent the Gates Foundation is, famous millionaire Warren Buffet has agreed to donate a significant portion of his millions to the Gates Foundation as well.
I know he's not perfect and same with the foundation but hey he's trying which is a lot more than other people.

Out of Balance

I just wanted to paint some things that just aint right. I realize that its kind of boring but maybe somebody could have interest

1) Pay. So I work at a government school and the school should be paid for by the government. Well when I say the government, I would guess a vast majority of education money comes from other countries considering other countries and NGO’s make up over 50% of Rwanda’s spending. The money doesn’t come though. Teachers are supposed to be paid monthly but they have been paid twice all year. This means that teachers have to rely on the PTA living stipend which comes from the kid’s school fees. A lot of kids can’t pay school fees so this month teachers haven’t received their $60 living stipend. This is a bummer in general but the other day made it tougher.

So our headmaster rolled into the staff room with a guest who made a little speech about raising money for a new classroom for a school in the district which apparently they do ever year. The teachers who haven’t been their normal salary in months and wouldn’t get their living allowance were now forced to donate toward a classroom. Ah, I feel bad for everyone. It’s hard enough as it is already but having to fork over what little cash you have for a random classroom somewhere sucks. Everyone was took and stride and donated but I could see it painful for most.

2)Fight! The other day I was on a bus back from Kigali when several young men dressed in camo carrying backpacks stuffed full various knick-knacks including ak-47 jump onboard and were lucky enough to sit next to me. I see military folk all the time but most of them have dropped out of secondary school and believe that they are God’s gift to Rwanda. This makes for not so much conversation. This time was different, I got to sit next to Steven who was a Butare grad (best school in Rwanda) and turned out to be a really nice guy. I’m going to give you the cliff notes. So, the reason he joined the military, the chance to travel to America. Apparently this is one of the best ways to recruit young Rwandans, give them the opportunity the chance to train in the military. Don’t worry only about 2% of the Rwandan military get to train in America, this list does include the president. I don’t know about you but that’s painful to me. I’m not going to rant about the military though (might be my next blog, it’s just building up, I can’t help it)

So what I wanted to say was this. The Rwandan military is probably the most feared militaries in Africa. This is mainly in part because America and other countries are arming and training them to the teeth. Now I want to contrast this. We have had some major problems with trespassing and kids just being plain violent, throwing rocks at folks, just being plain violent. As I thought about what would happen in the States the idea came to me, ah just call the cops, they will take care of it. I approached the Headmaster with my brilliant idea and was completely shut down. For starters, the cops in Rwanda don’t have any mode of transportation so if we called the cops we would have to pay for motos to go and pick them up. Then we would have to pay for their time here and the police don’t arrest anyone unless they have done something really bad because they can’t afford to put people in jail so my plan just crashed and burned. Look at this contrast. Anyone in the military gets new clothes, guns, and training while the cops might get a phone call every once and a while.

These things aren’t right. Light must be shed. I’m sorry to semi-rant here but it hurts my conscience of justice. I also just realized this is going on top of my glossy Nyagatare life post but that’s who I am.

Depends on Your Perspective

Monday turned out to be a pretty normal day. The morning was spent doing normal work things. The afternoon was needed for errands. I knew of this cute little local organic farmers market about 3 miles from my home and was a little low on fresh produce so I decided to head on down and see what kind of things I could pick up for dinner that evening. The rain had nicely cooled off the unusually warm fall air, so I decided to walk instead of drive, trying to be a good steward and all. The walk was quite nice, the weather stayed pleasant so there all sorts of folks out and about, moving around. The walk took about 45 minutes and when I arrived later in the afternoon I was relieved to see that the early birds hadn’t gotten all the worms. There was still plenty of fresh produce around. The market boasts about selling only local produce. I’m not sure but I think they are trying to be certified as locally organic. I’m cool with that, not being such a fan of chemicals and food traveling hundreds of miles. I might pay a little more but I think it’s worth it for the quality. I perused all the little makeshift stands with varying veggies displayed for purchase trying to decide who had the best looking produce before stepping up to buy. I ended up going to this fairly large woman with bright colorful clothes who I had bought from many times in the past. Her kind, crooked teeth smile displayed warm signs of recognition as she weighed some fresh local tomatoes for me. I also managed to pick up some fresh onions and a little bit of rosemary.

I know what these ingredients are going toward tonight, homemade vegan Italian red sauce for pasta. The walk home has a couple more hill than the one to the market but it’s never a bad thing to get a little exercise. I have also found that the more I walk to the farmers market and other places around town, the easier the walks become.

I arrived home just as the sun was setting and decided to sit on the back porch, play guitar and watch the sun go back into hiding behind the distant green hills. As the last rays of yellow disappeared, I returned back inside to start on the pasta sauce. Making pasta sauce from scratch takes a long time but everyone knows that a nice homemade sauce is far superior to anything canned so that’s how we make it. Actually, we have started to make everything homemade. It takes more time but the outcome is much better. The day was finished with fresh pineapple under the stars, a little grading and reading. Cormic McCarthy make reading easy as the words just drip off the pages.

This is a fairly normal day for Nyagatare, just taking it to a different perspective. What is your perspective for your life? How do you see every day? Can a reshaping the way you look at things improve your attitude toward them?

Bloop Blop Bleep Stop Climate Change!

I’m not sure if anybody actually reads my blehg but a couple weeks ago, I was gloating about the new garden that I planted. I also encouraged you to grow a garden. I still think growing a garden is a great idea but I have recently been thwarted by climate change. Everyone in my village had thought that the rains had come to stay but it turned out to be a big mother nature pump fake. Here you have the rainy season and the dry season. Either you get no rain or lots of rain, never just some rain. A couple of weeks ago, we had 3 solid days of rain and everyone thought that the rains had returned. It also was about the time the rains used to return. Dry season usually starts in May and ends in September. As of the last few years the wet season hasn’t returned until October. At the beginning of September we got those 3 solid days of rain and everyone thought the rain was returning to its old schedule and planted their plot. It turns out that it wasn’t and as a result, everyone’s crops died and they are going to have to dig again and replant. This means a loss of seed which also means a loss of money. I know I’m not a climatologist and that this unusual change in weather can be explained though many different reasons but it’s not only me noticing it. I was spending time with a friend who is an agriculture professor at the local university and told her that my garden died. She started to tell me that my case fairly common. For hundreds of years farmers have been on a similar schedule. The rains rarely fail or trick them. The changes in weather have left farmers confused and growing less.

It’s not that big of a deal for me. I’m sad I wouldn’t be able to eat any fresh veggies or basil before I go, but I don’t make my living growing crops like 92% of the population in Rwanda does. The earth’s condition is life or death for billions around the world and we must take care of it.

My time here in Rwanda has brought me closer to the earth and shown me just how important it is to take care of God’s creation. My neighbors all around me make their living from the earth and if we keep continuing to poison the earth our neighbors will have no means for survival. We are all in this together. Please, do your part in protecting our earth.

Swings

As for everyone there’s good days and bad days. Yesterday turned out to be pretty good in a different way. Power outages are fairly common thing here. It’s always a guessing game as to when the power will come back on. Sometimes is a couple hours and sometimes a couple days. The novelty of the ohh I’m in Africa, I’m going to have to read by candle light tonight had worn off about 6 months earlier and on this particular day, the novelty factor wore off about 4 hours earlier. After about 2 and a half hours of reading by candle light, I was about done. Also, this entire time you’re wondering when the power is going to come on. Then you have to start thinking of alternatives for dinner. You seem to always have 3 options: collect firewood in the dark to start a fire to cook (not doing again), east what little snacks and crackers you have or make the 5k trek to town. After a full day of teaching, none of these are ideal. So after reading I threw on my ipod to mix it up a little bit (I know I’m a jerk face and it isn’t so bad, I a freakin ipod) and started a countdown on my decision to trek it to town. About four songs in, to be honest, I had hit a low point, where I was just tired, hungry and didn’t want to deal with anything. Almost on cue, my ipod that was set on shuffle played this song out of the thousands of songs I have:

“Blessed is this life and I’m going to celebrate being alive”

If that’s not an omen, I don’t know what is. I kid you not, this one little song playing at the right time, changed my mood entirely. We ended up making the trek to town to eat and it was great. On this particular night, the skies ended being clear and the moon low, allowing you to see a million and one stars. I am attaching a map of earth at night below. You see that dark area usually called Africa, that where I live. Then multiply that by having all of the power out as far as you can see. This makes things so dark that you can’t see your own hand in front of your face. This also makes the million stars sparkle brighter than I have ever seen them before. It’s moments like these that confirm my creator. Not a creator who is static and distant but something more. It just makes me say ahh I’m not alone here and I feel that this creator is good. Regardless of how many people have misconstrued his name, he’s there to continually whisper good in your ear. Also this didn’t come through a change in situation. The power was still out, I was still hungry but the reminder of more being there brought change in me. Things aren’t bad, some of it is the mindset we are in.

This morning I woke up to the power returning and meditated on what negative mindsets might be clouding my perspective of the world and what I can do to bring God’s peaceful kingdom on earth.

Road Signs

I was on the road quite a bit this past weekend. I had to head south to Resumo with the kids for a debate on Friday. On Saturday I had to make a quick trip to Kigali to bid goodbye to friend heading back to the States. When you travel so much, you start to notice things along the road that you’ve never seen before. I started to realize that many parts of the journey portrayed the growing Rwanda of today. On our way down to Resumo, we spent several kilometers winding though a valley that had recently been turned into an endless sea of rice fields. The valley was speckled with women in colorful clothing putting rice into big brown woven baskets. What a beautiful picture of the changing face of Rwanda. The country is starting to use its limited land to try to grow enough food to feed its swelling population.

The newly acquired rice fields were not the only signs of the country’s progress. The entire trip from Nyagatare to Kigali is lined with freshly dug dirt. In contract with the rapidly changing East African Community, Rwanda is laying fiber-optic cable across the entire country. High-speed internet was promised last year and it seems as though it might be up and running by the beginning of this coming year. As you approach Kigali from further and further away, you can see the growing skyscrapers coupled with a half dozen cranes to help them reach the sky. Can Rwanda truly skip the industrialization stage of development and head straight to a knowledge based economy.

As you pass by the steep hillsides just before reaching Lake Muhazi, you can see the bleeding bleach marks along the cliff side that used to clearly read Kagame, Paul. The controversial election went off without a hitch now two months ago and the country is still on the possibly façaded up and up.

After a strong showing at our debate against Resumo, the kids were singing songs of joy and happiness as we travelled back north to Nyagatare. From Resumo to Nyagatare, you pass by 5 mass graves from the genocide. The large white concrete slabs are usually decorated with the memorial purple and decaying flowers. Scrolled across the entrance to each site are the words, “never again” and “we will never forget”. The kid’s songs never let up the entire ride home, even as we passed the various grave sites. I felt like the kid’s songs displayed the beauty of life, that Rwanda is alive as ever. In some ways it felt like their songs were overpowering the past. We know what happened 16 years ago but were not going back there and were going to sing songs of joy that we are alive and well today. Rwanda can be prosperous and peaceful and death and despair will not be our final word. I know the kids weren’t thinking about this as we passed reminders of the past every 30 minutes or so but I think it was beautifully symbolic. This country is moving. It has a long way to go but it sure is giving it a shot. It’s an exciting time to be a Rwandan. Their future is bright and in their hands to make the best of it.

Ups and Downs

I would like to think of myself as a halfway decent teacher. The kids seem to enjoy my classes, and it sometimes appears as though they might be learning something. Two weeks ago, I had a little hiccup. Coming back from a 3 day weekend the old dean of studies pulled a fast one on me and added 2 more classes to my schedule midway through the last term. It was also a little frustrated that he didn’t bother to tell until after a student asked me why I dodged their class, a student I don’t teach, well didn’t used to teach. I casually asked the dos (dean of studies) if by chance this student was right and he was. “oh yeah, I was meaning to tell you about that” Sweet

It’s really ok though because it’s adding GP classes which are examinable current events classes and I absolutely love teaching it. I also wasn’t such a fan of their previous teacher. So this was just another hurdle I could deal with.

The first week of classes with these new students went by without any hiccups and I thought that I would cruise to the end of the term with them. The second week got a lot tougher. In one of my new classes I started to notice this one boy who sat in the back who just stared real hard at me the entire class. I didn’t think anything of it at first but after my 3^rd class with these new students I walked to the back of the room to see what was up. The student sitting next to him leaned over and said, “oh teacher, he can’t hear anything, he was born that way”

This news threw me backwards. This student has been attending normal classes his entire life while being deaf. He learns from reading lips and is now reading lips in a language not his own. Not that he could fully embrace Kinyarwandan being deaf. I asked his friend who all knew this. Apparently the Headmaster and two other teachers knew about this kid and that’s it. I will say that it’s quite amazing that he has made it this far. There is an admissions process for all secondary schools in Rwanda and our school is a top performing school. Since that day, I have felt a little intimidated in this class. It’s hard enough teaching 50+ kids with varying English levels using only a piece of chalk but now throwing in a student with very special needs, it’s just too much. I’m just not qualified. But this is Africa, raw Africa and you have to make the best of what’s around. I try to teach his class the best I can and try to see him at the end of every class for questions but that’s all I can do.

This isn’t the first time that I have been deeply struck by people with disabilities in developing countries. Life is already a lot closer to the edge here and it just pushes it that much closer having a disability. Each time I see it, I become overwhelmed with the challenges facing them. It hurts to think about all the obstacles that must be faced living with a disability. On the other hand though, seeing students like Emmy also brings a lot of strength and joy. He has made it through so much and works so hard. His determination to learn is I think even inspires his fellow classmates to learn. He really takes his challenges in stride. Please join me in praying for strength and mercy for all those with disabilities in developing countries. Pray that our loving God has a plan for everyone with disabilities in creating his peaceful kingdom.

Does This Make You Sad Too?

In light of the recent Supreme Court case as well as the way I see America trending, this is a big problem. Please read this article to see something thats close to my heart. People with lots of money pushing their greed in Washington to change policy for only their personal benefit.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/30/100830fa_fact_mayer?currentPage=all

Oh Sardy!

When I first moved to Rwanda, which now is many months ago, I thought it was cute that whenever an accident occurred many people would almost yell out, ‘sorry!’ Anything from dropping a piece of chalk to a slight stumble, and you receive a roomful of sorrys. At first I thought it was funny and just a little English misunderstanding but now I am starting to think that it’s related to a much bigger problem, the concept of self responsibility. In normal British/American English sorry is meant as an apology for doing something wrong to somebody else but here it is used pretty much only as a response to an incident self-inflicted and hardly ever used when someone does something wrong and a sorry would give responsibility to someone.

The other day in class, I dropped a piece of chalk and it broke into a couple of pieces, so to sympathize, everyone said sorry. I took a minute to explain to the kids a closer meaning to sorry and that in the context they often use is actually wrong. When I spoke of taking responsibility they weren’t really tracking. I think responsibility has been muddied in this culture for a long time to where it’s a relatively foreign concept which I think has caused some problems.

The other day my moto driver Claude pulled up to the house with some fresh gashes in his motorcycle. When I asked him what happened, he explained to me that his motorcycle decided to run off the road and crash.

I know that was a silly example but when you talk to many genocide survivors, and they’re is a retelling of what happened, I have noticed both victims and perpetrators both use the phrase “witched” for the time that atrocities were actually committed. They don’t give responsibility to anybody. I feel like many people describe things this way, “yeah, I was living here and doing this but something witched me to burn this person’s house down” or “I could tell that they were witched when they came into the church looking for my father”. I feel like responsibility is omitted by both sides.

To receive a legitimate apology is relatively rare. I accidently blew off a friend the other day and I really did feel bad about it. I was intending on seeing him but I totally forgot. When I called him and apologized, he was really appreciative and mentioned how rare it was for someone to really apologize. Hmm many feeble sorrys and not many legitimate sorrys.

I really think that this is a problem. People struggle to accept or give responsibility for many things. Blame or responsibility is placed on inanimate objects or supernatural causes instead the people whose responsibility it should be. I think this hinders moving forward in many ways. If responsibility is not taken for actions, then how can people learn from mistakes. It’s childish to push responsibility to everything but yourself and I think it has become culture here. I’m not sure how this can change besides chalking it up to another one of the growing pains of trying to become a developed country.

PS- I’m super judgy in this post but I have been building this idea in my head for many months now and see examples of it on a regular basis. Regardless, I could be completely wrong here and am open to conversation.

Garden

The rain brings new opportunities to Nyagatare. No, not life directions or insightful revelations but the chance to grow a garden! My neighbor Sawa and I spent a majority of Sunday preparing our new garden. Our last one went pretty well, we were able to have some beautiful cucumbers, eggplants, basil and rocket. This time we are growing more of the same but reducing the amount of eggplants and increasing the amount of cucumbers and adding radishes. Although this was a day full of manual labor, I really enjoyed the uncomplicated process of getting down and digging in God’s beautiful earth. The simplicity of growing your own food in your backyard and being able to just walk out and pick what you need for dinner that night is plainly wonderful. I will say, growing a garden in Africa is quite a bit different from the States. You have to do the normal clearing and churning of soil but the soil isn’t so fertile over here and we can’t just go to the store to buy fertilizer so we have to collect cow patties and till them in. Also you can’t just throw the seeds into the flat tilled soil. You have to create- as Barbara Kingsolver described so well in Poisonwood Bible- mounds that look like little burial tombs. So we threw the seeds in the mounds and after a couple weeks of watchful watering and making sure the cows don’t trample the plants we should have some healthy veggies to add to our boring starch filled diets.

I know it’s turning toward fall but if you’re real ambitious you can grow a nice fall garden in the States or if you are just starting gardening try to plan ahead to spring. Check out what land you could use and see if there is anywhere you can start your own garden.

There are many benefits of growing some of your own food. First, this might be psychological but homegrown food just tastes better. Second, especially in America, the average grocery store veggie travels hundreds if not thousands of miles to get to you. If we pushed for more local or even better homegrown food we could drastically cut down on the greenhouse gasses being produced from bringing food many miles to you. Another good thing about gardening is that by eating your own or hopefully local food, you can really cut down on the amount of pesticides in your body. To be honest, I’m not up on recent pesticide studies but I have a feeling that they aren’t healthy for you and the less you have in your body, the better for you and for the environment which greatly suffers from pesticide runoff. Pesticide runoff in developing countries is a major problem that isn’t getting much attention.

Bottom line, I want you to grow a garden. Grow whatever fruits or veggies you want. Slow down, dig your hands down in God’s good earth and watch a plant grow that will feed you and have no negative side-effects besides being too delicious.

( It doesn't look like much now but waiting is part of the fun)

Change

The dry season has finally released its grip and the dark clouds of rainy season have arrived. I’m not sure I have every appreciated the sweet smell of rain as much as I did a few days ago. You really respect contrast when you’ve have four months of bright sunny days to fully cherish the rain when it comes. In a matter of days since receiving rain, my little town has transformed from a dusty near desert landscape to a lively not quite lush green. With the arrival of rain comes the reemergence of wildlife. The rainbow of birds have reappeared. Our pet bat Batty has reclaimed his perch atop our light fixture. The safari ants have started to putter around our veranda again. The maggoty bugs with wings have returned to aimlessly fly toward the lights outside, only to be caught and eaten by Batty.
It really has amazed me how quickly things have changed around here with a little bit of rain. Everything has gone back to the way things were when I first arrived here. Life is in full swing not waiting for anything and on full display.
This change has really reminded of how beautiful contrasts can be. Without some low points or dry seasons its makes it hard to really appreciate how beautiful life is. I never minded the immense wildlife all around but when it all disappeared during dry season, I missed it. I began craving rain or just plain cloud cover. I can honestly say that I appreciate the wildlife and clouds so much more now having a period with everything on hold. Up and downs come and all forms but sometimes they just appear crystal clear. Now that the rain has started to fall, in many ways I’m happy for the dry season. Not to say I was happy for the 4 months of tough conditions but I appreciate the contrast. Not that I’m suggesting reveling in low points but rather we should embrace them as part of life and expect to learn from them because there will be a time when things are better and it will be so much more sweet when we leave them.

Celebrating A Little Different

Most folks consider Rwanda a Christian nation but it doesn’t stop them from celebrating others holidays. Friday marks the end of Ramadan called Eid. Its a nice monthish long fasting during sunlight hours to get a little closer to God. I think its quite nice and will participate next year. Eid is a national holiday for all of Rwanda. All Rwandese holidays are announced the night before on the radio in Kinyarwandan. Even if it’s Women’s Day or Heroes Day, which have a specific date set out every year, nobody knows if you have the day off until it’s announced on the radio the night before. For some reason I was somehow convinced that Thursday was going to be Eid and that we would have it off. This prompted a late night out and couple extra hours of sleep. It turns out that I missed the moon and announcement. When I got moving this morning, I realized I missed the first 3 periods and Eid would be on Friday. I jumped the gun on the usually celebrated feast and party and missed out on the fasting (I’m such a heathen). This celebration stretches a lot farther than the 3-5% Muslims in the country. I think it shows a great deal of acceptance of other religions and the ability of 2 differing religions to coexist.

It seems to be the opposite case in America. I hear about this pastor in Florida who is going to burn Korans on 9/11. How Christ-like. Too be honest I’m not sure how this guy got so much publicity. It’s a shame when America’s leaders have to waste their time and put out statements suggesting that this is a bad idea and will endanger American lives to be disrespectful and burn others holy books. Not only this incident but I have also been reading about a mosque being constructed near the World Trade Center’s site. There has been outrage over its construction but I don’t understand why. Why has there been such a surge in Islamofascism. Let’s try to put this in perspective here. Those responsible for the 9/11 attacks represent about .03% of Muslims. Also, since then, our little Christian nation America has managed to torture or kidnap and send to known pro torture countries hundreds of thousands of people, most of them being Muslim and most of them not charged with anything other than a hunch or suspicion. There are bad apples on all sides, so why can’t we acknowledge that and work to ask them why, call them exceptions and bring them to justice.

You might be thinking, hmm well if Rwanda had an attack like 9/11 then they would probably hate all Muslims too and throw everyone in a big group. Two months ago there were several bombs that went off in the Kampala, close neighbor to Kigali where many Rwandese knew people killed in that attack. This was done by the radical Muslim group al-shabab but people here are able to make the distinction. Well my neighbor is Muslim and I have no problems with him or her so maybe not all people of Allah are bad. Maybe we could treat those who have respected us with respect and ask better of those who do not and promise respect regardless of how they treat us. Hate and fear are powerful weapons. Let us live bigger than hate and fear and make a push for hope and love to triumph.

Heretic?

As my time here in Nyagatare is winding down and the possibility of continuing to teach at my school has been eliminated, I’m trying to look to the future. For numerous reasons, I have felt pushed to look for a position with a Christ affiliated organization. As I have started to apply for various NGO’s, I have realized that I don’t really adhere to many of the views that they simply want me to click and agree or disagree in a box to a specific version of Christianity.
I’m going to go down the list for you.
I don’t believe the Bible is infallible. I do believe it is the inspired word of God and shows in the way it’s been able to move communities for generations. I don’t see it as a constitution of laws but a beautiful collection of stories about a growing community of people and thier interaction with God for many years dealing the growing pains of grappling with a God that bigger than we can imagine even when he was sent in human form.
I’m not sure if Jesus is the only way to heaven. Actually, I’m not sure if there is a definitive heaven after life period. I certainly don’t believe in hell. Well, hell in the form of eternal suffering in flames. Honestly let be real here. Those who have read some of the Bible or at least some of the Gospels can you really imagine Jesus having this conversation? ‘Here’s the deal, the reason I’m here is to start a new religion and yeah I’m want to name it after me. Oh also, if anyone doesn’t accept this new religion named after me, they’re going to be tortured for eternity. Cool? Good talk.’ I think heaven and hell are both here and now on this earth. I think if you ask some of the women living in eastern Congo, they would tell you that hell is knocking on their back door. And if you asked me as I vacationed in Tofo I would tell you that heaven is at hand. The contrasts are stark and are dually present right now. This is where I feel called, renewing the Eden that once was this world. Helping heaven spread past the edges of humanity and reach the inner caldrons of hell and fill them with hope, love, justice and peace; to be part of creating the new peaceful Kingdom of God. Everything comes from God, everything is spiritual. Regardless of what religion someone is part of, they can have part of the restorative power of God with them. I believe in liberation for salvation.
I don’t believe that I or we are fallen unwanted people. Of course there is sin but I don’t think it’s the definitive factor between us and God. Were missing the picture, it’s about life and heaven here and now not a collection of exact beliefs to make it in the club when we die. I believe that we are called to leave the destructive ways of this world and be reborn into the restorative Kingdom of God. Please, liberate yourself from the ideals of this world and join me in thinking up and looking out to stand alongside God helping to bring his Kingdom here and now. I think this is the only way true salvation will be delivered.
I love liberation theology, the emergent conversation and being ok with the unknowns of an infinite God but will these organizations with large segments of strictly evangelical supporters accept me? I think the family is big enough for a person like me but I couldn’t check yes to the beliefs of the World Evangelical Alliance box. We shall see.

Check It!

A friend sent me this CD the other day. I felt so so about it the first listen, but when I really gave it a good chance I realized how good it is. This song has been my heartbeat the last couple of days. I think its inspired by Plato's Allegory of the Cave. Hints the song title Cave

Actually, I love this song so much right now that I’m going to give you my interpretation of it. This is one beautiful thing about songs with lyrics this deep is that you can take them in many different ways. It’s refreshing to see a song with lyrics so thoughtful that I can dive in and really chew it around. So this is my take and maybe you will grab something from it. I also want to give you a run down on the Plato’s cave allegory. Don’t worry I couldn’t remember it all from philosophy class, I had to look some of it up. So the idea is this, there are a group of people in a cave completely shackled without the ability to move facing a cave wall. Behind them is a big fire in which people with objects and cut outs walk across and the shadow is reflected on the cave wall. So their reality becomes the shadows, because that’s all they can see. Also when they are freed, they turn toward the fire and it hurts their eyes so they return to their reality of the shadows.
It's empty in the valley of your heart (There is something deeper there, in hard times its hard for a majority of folks because they don’t know)
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears (I think these 3 lines are hinting toward the cave, maybe sun being fire, and fear of leaving what they knew. I also think this applies to humanity as a whole too. Comfort in what you know and fear of change)
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see (I know its more cave talk but for me, I’m hoping he is also mentioning the instability of how much meat people eat and that its destroying the earth)
But I have seen the same (more cave talk but also a challenge to the enslaved cave dwellers to say hey, I know what you are going through but I’ve seen the other side and you can break from your reality of shadows and join the world that brings hope and love)
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke (I’m going to try my hardest bring hope and help the world change from its destructive ways.)
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain (God never said life is going always be rainbows and butterflies, we need to learn from and expect times of pain. Growth can come from them)
And I will change my ways (I really think these last 2 lines are Biblical. We must change our destructive ways. I think its by following Jesus’ way and bring his peaceful kingdom on earth)
I'll know my name as it's called again (Maybe referencing the numerous changes in actions that goes along with changes of name in the Bible. For example: Saul to Paul, Simon to Peter and Abram to Abraham. I think there are even more)

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth (Let me break out of the ways of the world. I understand if you wouldn’t come with me but for me it’s the only path)
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears (I’m not sure about this line, Christ’s crucifixion comes to mind)
I can see widows and orphans through my tears (I can’t ignore what I see that needs to be changed)
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears (I’m trying really hard despite how scared and how imperfect I am)


So come out of your cave walking on your hands (more cave talk)
And see the world hanging upside down (I think this is more God’s kingdom talk. See things from a new perspective. The last will be first and the first will be last type of deal)
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land (good line, haven’t nailed it on the head but my guess would be a I’m with God, I mean look around at his beautiful creation, how could we not be?)

So make your siren's call (The Odyssey reference here. The American dream can look pretty and you can try to lure me but just like the sirens, it will lead to death so I’m not listening)
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be (Searching for God’s will in helping to bring his kingdom here)