Scars (again)

Looking back at my first blogs since moving to Rwanda, I’ve realized that not just myself but several other peoples first blogs about moving to Rwanda were about scars. The complete openness of past tragedy and open lament is really foreign to Americans. This is one of the first things many people notice when they first arrive here. I think this is due to stark contrast and how different it is from America. Past hardships and physical scars are typically concealed, covered or attempted to forget about but these hardships have to go somewhere. Rwanda is quite the opposite to America when it comes to the lament. Many people cannot hide their constant reminder of a past suffering which I think is ok for many people. I think Rwanda has properly grieved its hardships and is ready to move forward. It does not want to forget about previous injustices but is ready to move on in a better light due to the fact that it has openly dealt with what it has.

I think this is a great lesson the Rwandese can teach Americans, and in my opinion especially Christians. How many times have you walked into church with the weight of the world on your shoulders, only to see a lot of people with smiling faces and the image of not a care in the world. Times for sorrow and lament are reserved for specific Sundays accompanied with a particular message. I don’t think this façade is healthy. As a community and individually we need to learn how to properly grieve loss, heartache and injustice. I think we carry our scars on the inside. The feeling and emotions are stuck and not worked out. I don’t think this lets up live to our full potential. I don’t think we can fully heal if we don’t lament.

I know I’m not in the states but overseas the Wikileaks documents about the massive amount of torture and abuse committed in Iraq was a big deal. Even in my village people would ask me how I felt as an American about the documents. My only response is deep deep sorrow mixed with some anger. When I talked to my parents and asked them what the reaction was in America, they told me that there wasn’t much of one. I think this is due to our denial and inability to lament. The injustices committed in Iraq are wrong and I believe we need to properly mourn what happened and is currently happening in Afghanistan. We need to address what’s wrong and bring to light. We can’t banish these atrocities from our consciousness, trying our best to hide the gruesome images of what we have done. I think we will be better off if we were more real with ourselves and with the rest of the world and talked about what is happening.

Rwanda has created a space to lament. From the countless mass graves scattered across the tiny country to the open fresh mortar shell wounds almost displayed across the west side of Parliament, Rwanda is healing. Let’s deal with our own story, let’s dive deep into the muck, speak it out, resonate with community and move forward with the visible scars of life and the wholesomeness of properly lamenting.

(west wall of the rwandan parliament building)

(they're keeping the scars in the building to remember)

Gacaca Continued

As I concluded to myself earlier, regardless of how effective Gacaca has been in bringing about justice, I believe that it has done one right. It has instilled a culture of forgiveness in Rwanda. Regardless of what the scenario is, Rwandese deeply value forgiveness and I believe that’s really important for a society and has brought fruit many different ways.

But back to my original dabbling, has Gacaca brought justice? This is a quite delicate issue that if one person starts talking about it, I am sure to have at least two or three others interject their opinion. Although it’s unexpected, I think it’s been good to get vastly different perspectives.

I’m first going to give you the gist according those living and experiencing Gacaca. So those in jail who have committed various crimes from murder to theft had the option to leave jail and go to the Gacaca Courts if they admitted that they took some part in genocide and would agree to apologize. Those who contributed to the planning or higher officials in the army were not given this option.

All in all over 40,000 people chose to confess and forgive handing them down to Gacaca. Everyone in the community came out to Gacaca and several trusted members of the community were judges. In a very formal way, one by one people who witnessed the perpetrator commit a crime came forth and explained what they saw. After several hours, the story was set straight. The information was out. The confession was had. The perpetrator had been accused and confessed to those actions agreed upon by the community judges and himself.

The sentencing usually had to do with retribution to the victims. Agreeing to rebuild a home for them, pay their surviving children’s school fees, help with growing crops or tending to cows.

Many believe that the Gacaca Courts have been an absolute blessing to Rwanda. Instead of holding prisoners in the crumbling jails and the government paying lots of money to keep them there, many believe that the perpetrators of genocide are now helping to rebuild the country and the country’s infrastructure.

On the other hand, apparently there have been many more reprisal killings than the government would lead you to believe. (I find this fact interesting because nobody really disbelieves the government and most wouldn’t say anything bad about it but many will speak out on this issue) Not only have there been reprisal killings, many also fear for the health of the survivors. Even though they have been through the Gacaca Trials, they still have a lot of pain in their heart and see the one that might have killed their family members everyday reminds them and brings back even more pain.

Overall, I think Gacaca was an extremely risky move by a country and in many ways, it has been vastly effective. I have met people on both sides of the aisle. I met a boy my age whose entire family was killed by one man. They went though Gacaca and through time became great friends and now live together. They live together. Can I just tell you how amazing that is? Just think for a second, your entire family is killed, could you live with the man that admitted to doing it? That’s an astounding story of forgiveness.

The other side is different though. A young student in one of my classes has told me on more than one occasion that she hates going home for holiday because she has to see the man that killed her father and brother. Her entire demeanor changes as terms finish up. I can see the pain in her heart and can’t really do much about it.

I want to close with a quote from one of my students describing the effectiveness of Gacaca. She explained to me in simple English, “if we want to truly live, we have to learn to forgive”.